Week of June 23rd

I did put up a points update. This week, though, I’ve been visiting my grandmother in Charlottesville, VA and really didn’t do much except go to fancy dinners with my family and shop around with my mom for Israel stuff. I did a lot of reading in the car trips there and back, but still haven’t finished anything.

Also the boy and I are starting our own YA fiction series; I think we are going for a sci-fi genre. Finding the time to write creatively is going to be a struggle, especially since I am leaving the country for three weeks and he works about 90 hours a week. And once August rolls around, I will be slammed with schoolwork, projects, and just trying to survive. I think balance in life can be hard, and, speaking personally, I have a tough time knowing whether I like being busy or being lazy. When I’m lazy, I crave challenge. And when I’m incredibly busy, I crave an hour surfing the internet, watching television, or reading for fun.

It’s no secret that The Sunny Drug Corporation is sort of a description of my personality. I struggle with being happy on a regular basis, so I create goals to feel as if I am constantly achieving something. My therapist (yeah I’m admitting that) tells me that my goals are unachievable and I need to concentrate on the little goals. I think my points system is helping me do that. Instead of wanting to lose fifty pounds in like three weeks, I’m just working on exercising for an hour.

And sometimes I don’t like to admit my true goals. For example, I’d like to be classier (but with my cursing mouth I don’t know how possible that is). And I’d like to make more money. The last one I definitely don’t like to admit out loud, because it goes against my true beliefs. I don’t think we should rely on money for happiness. I don’t think money should be the ultimate indicator of success. But……being able to pay my bills and get a little something extra now and again would be great.

I’m going to find another way to make money, be classier, and honestly….just be happy.

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Obsession

I think that there is a common thread between all human beings: everyone has that one obsession that is borderline creepy. That one thing they do, either for attention or for the sheer pleasure of it which somehow seems a little wrong or just…..let’s face it: wrong.

I thought, in all fairness to those who read my blog, I would share mine with you today.

Now, I know I am not the only one who has this…problem. There are whole forums devoted to those who share my obsession, and who flaunt it as if it was normal (and as if it fit into their daily schedules of work and family and the gym. Well, hate to tell you, but we all know you’re lying about that). And, I have to admit, once Judson moved in with me and college was over, and I couldn’t procrastinate any more for the life of me, I had to stop. Which is probably why I’m writing about it now: because it’s damn hard to stop and no one ever really wants to, especially when they’ve had a few beers and it’s staring them in face just saying…play me!

Sorry, a tangent.

Anyway my obsession?

The Sims:

That’s right: I took pictures of my sims freaking out. Exactly. I told you it was bad. This is just one from a series of pictures I took while attempting to do a legacy. If you don’t know what a legacy is, just imagine a bunch of nerds (like me) taking pictures of their sims, giving them personalities, and writing stories about them. Look, I told you it was going to be bleak.
The one thing no one ever told me was: hey, this shit is time consuming. Sure, it’s fun to get a little buzzed, sit in front of the computer and play God for oh like eight hours straight, but the next morning you still haven’t finished your paper, your friends think you are dead, and, in the end, you’re just some cracked-out nerd.
Luckily for me, my friends understood. My friend, Sydney, and I used to “media-whore” together; media-whoring was a series of nights during which we listened to music, watched television, played video games, read, put a clear bag to our lips, and finished
homework all at the same time. It took immense concentration, and little bit of hate for our bodies.
College was a hazy time for us needless to say, especially because media-whoring was pretty much solely done after 3 a.m. and in a fit of hysteria to finish work. Anyway, I digress. It didn’t diminish my obsession.
And one finds that as new deadlines and goals spring forth, they think their obsessions are hidden for good. Unfortunately, as I sit down to write or paint or I start running through my neighborhood, I find myself thinking: “Shit. I could be playing Sims right now.”